How To Motivate Yourself to do a Project

AchievementWe all know that feeling.

The sheer frustration and exhaustion of knowing what your goal is and even though you’re making slow incremental progress you’re going to want to be on to something else before you actually get it realised. Motivation starts to wane. That fire you had in your belly to get it done is now a feeble wisp of smoke, and you find any distraction under the sun to avoid getting back to what you know you should be doing.

Sucks doesn’t it?

Especially since you’re not an un-motivated person, but that feeling of having to push, push, push, just wears you away, and you wonder… “Where the heck did my Mojo go?”
Well, what if I told you that the reason you might be struggling on this particular goal isn’t because there is something wrong with you. It’s also not because you’re “not talented enough”, “not good enough”, or  “not clever enough”.

It also has nothing to do with how difficult the goal is, or what the marketplace or the rest of the industry is doing.

That’s right. You really did read that right.

“So what on earth *does* it have to do with?”

Keep reading, because we’re going to explore something you have probably never even considered before.

shutterstock_139931962You Just Don’t Want It

Yep, sometimes the reason you’re not motivated to fulfil a particular goal is really that simple. You just don’t want it. You’re not motivated to do what you need to do, because internally you’ve already made that calculation that you just don’t think that it’s worth the effort to achieve it. And that’s actually ok, so quit beating yourself up. It doesn’t reflect badly on you as a person…

In personal development speak you’re “not aligned with your outcome”. In real terms this means drop that goal and go and find something that you’d really love to do.

Often I find there is a tangle of reasons why someone is going after a particular goal. Sometimes it’s the result of some convoluted logic – if I can achieve this, then eventually I might be good enough to go after what I really want. (Check and see if you’re doing that!)

Sometimes it’s a way of treading water.

Sometimes it because we need to start something, and get moving just to realise that we don’t want it.

 

But often when someone is not feeling motivated, it’s because the outcome doesn’t really relate with what they *actually* want in life – it’s a filler, to try and feel the feelings that you anticipate the goal, or the pursuit of the goal, will give you. This presupposes you know what you really want, and most people don’t. Even if you have your vision board and your 3 monthly goals written out beautifully it’s likely that you have ideas of tangibles that don’t hit the intangible mark… ie. the real reasons behind why you want that goal.

 

The Problem Of Pseudo-Goals

The problem with these “pseudo-goals” is that they’re not really what your heart and soul really want. They’re what you think are cool; they’re convenient goals to have; they’re the things you think you should have; the things that you think will bring you more security, make you feel in control; make other people admire you. They tend to be things you think you can have, and sometimes even things you can never have, in order to stay in the “process of getting them”, because if you can be in the process, you haven’t yet failed, nor can you ever fail.

In other words, they’re purely ego-driven goals.

Nod you’re head if you’re following me…  😉

Normally when people feel unmotivated it’s because they’re pursuing tasks related to ego-driven goals. The classic one is doing something for the safety and security, allowing your spirit to be crushed one day at a time.

But if you’re noticing that some of your goals are pseudo-goals as you’re reading this that’s ok. This isn’t a reason to beat yourself up. It’s an opportunity to dismantle some of the programming and be freer. You see, these feelings and programmes are powerful motivators. They are the quiet drivers operating in the background of your life that make you do things, especially when you’re not conscious of them.

The other problem with these pseudo-goals is that they are still programmes that can never be satisfied. Imagine “being recognised”. This is a programme that says “I’m good enough if I feel recognised.” Get a picture of that. Now imagine being recognised a little bit more. Now imagine being recognised the most you can possibly imagine… Very difficult isn’t it. Once you’re on this track, and it’s an addiction, you can ever get enough of it.

The only way out of this trap is to release and clear these pseudo-goals so they aren’t running your life any more. Even an awareness of them takes the power out of them. Take the power out of them, and you stop getting pulled off track by things that aren’t really what you want. You stop wasting time, energy and money doing things that aren’t going to make you happy and fulfil your deeper, more meaningful goals. Do this and achieving your ACTUAL goals becomes so much easier.

Why does it become easier? Because you’re focussed, and what you focus on, you can create in your external world.

 

19 (2)How To Get Your Mojo Back

To get your Mojo back the thing you need to do is focus purely on your ACTUAL goals. These are the things that light you up. The things you really want, not out of ego, and not for a laundry list of reasons that are wrapped up in piles of wanting approval, wanting control, wanting safety… but real things that help you evolve and experience more as a person. These aren’t necessarily the things that you’ll be loved for, or admired for. You may not be pleasing your parents, or doing what you think “society” says you to do. But you’ll be happy and fulfilled, and following your bliss.

When you recognise this difference, you can do the most valuable check in ever.

You check to make sure that your ACTUAL goals are being pursued (not the pseudo-goals)… and then decide whether you want to still pursue that task that you’re struggling to motivate yourself into doing.

  1. Recognise the pseudo-goals, and the underlying drivers for wanting them, and then release those drivers. (Remember, the drivers are things like: I want to be liked, admired, appear a certain way, respected, cared for, secure etc)
  2. Now look at the real things that you actually want in your life. Those things that light you up and make you happy. These are the things that you think about and think about going after and you feel light inside, and you need to put in place any other thinking to justify going after them.
  3. Now check back into the tasks you are trying to motivate yourself to do, and notice if those tasks align with those ultimate happy goals, those things you ACTUALLY want. If they do, then keep them. If they don’t then abandon them.

 

Abandoning Goals

Ok, so sometimes we have to pay the bills. And that’s ok. Keep doing those tasks for a little time longer, but put in place a plan to extract yourself from having to do something you don’t like.

If you’re chasing a self-imposed goal that doesn’t align with your true calling, then there is really no point in continuing. Yes sure you may feel defeated, embarrassed or a failure for surrendering this goal, but far better that than investing more time energy and money into something that you haven’t got the passion to breathe into it. If you haven’t already read Seth Godin’s “The Dip”, then this is a good read when trying to make the decision to keep going on one track, or to abandon it.

I’d also recommend learning to drop the thoughts and feelings around making a decision, and any negative feelings around quitting or continuing… It will help eliminate them for the long term, and free you up for creating more success and more of what you really want. Besides, why feel embarrassed, defeated and like a failure if you don’t have to? It’s not what you are, it’s simply an illusion, which you can chose to drop.

Check out the audios in the resource page for help in doing this.

 

Share Your Thoughts

Ok, so what ah-has have you had as you’ve been reading this?

Perhaps you’ve noticed some pseudo-goals of your own, as difficult as they are to recognise and call-out.

What goals are you planning to abandon now, or at least put under the microscope?

Share in the comments below, and let’s start a discussion…

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6 Comments

  1. Wow!!! Head slamming, knee jerking, slap in the face AWESOME post! Pseudo goals? Yes, I’ve been hanging on tight to these faceless…ego boosters…that I couldn’t quite grasp or label…now I know what they are. What I’m learning are 2 things my parents taught me early on…but I never considered combining them: They are ‘humility and letting go.’ Nothing in life flows naturally or comes to fruition without remaining gracious and humble and releasing the scars of the past experiences. I’m so grateful for the lessons I’ve had in this and will be eternally grateful. Thank YOU. : )

    1. Hey Lynn – I’m so glad this is helpful.
      You’re right, it’s all about getting out of the way… You’re doing some great stuff with the releasing. Well done and keep going! 🙂

    2. Hey Lynn,
      Really enjoyed your comment on Laura’s blog, I thought
      it really fortified the brilliant message that Laura so kindly
      brought to our attention around pseudo goals.

      Regards, victor

  2. This is so helpful; thanks for writing it!
    I am about to leave a job that I’ve had for over a decade. I’ve learned and grown a lot as a person through it, but it was never what I really wanted to spend my time on.
    Even though it is a bit scary to be stepping out of the financial security (or seeming security, since there are a lot of layoffs happening now in the industry I am/was in) it provided, it is nice to feel the bracing wind of “the Now”, so to speak.
    I feel ready to commit myself to what I truly want to do which is to help people on a deep level in different ways — through my own life coaching business and through my creative projects. I am currently working on a screenplay for a short film that is based on a personal experience. I believe that this film could really help and encourage people.
    It feels great to think about and focus on what truly matters to me. I sense my energy and enthusiasm returning again from within — and your post helped a lot. I will re-read it and continue reading your blog.
    Thanks!

    1. Hey Catherine – glad it was useful.
      Awesome that doing what you love is lighting you u again! Keep us posted with how you get on…

      warm wishes
      Laura 🙂

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